In my room, I have a poem hanging on my wall by an anonymous poet. It says; “Just remember your pen and ink it is your boat that will never sink. If not long ago, you would have drowned without a sound.”
Writing for me is an outlet to express my emotions and thoughts which are sometimes are hard to talk about in person or face to face to somebody that I care about. Poetry is an outlet but it is also a place where one can feel safe and also heard. I remember meeting one of my first friends at my current college, Grove City College. I asked him if he could write a poem and the first thing he said was, “I can’t write poetry.” I disagreed. Poetry is simply just internal thoughts or beliefs or different perspectives. Now, I’m not saying you need to be like Edgar Allen Poe or Wilfred Owen. Everyone has a different style when it comes to poetry.
This is a snippet of the poem that he wrote and for someone who says that they can’t write poems, it was fairly good;
Ash and smoke twist and turn
everlasting circles above the peaks
cultures clash callously
skies heavily and lost souls yearn.
The way ain’t clear
to a gentle place where souls go
~ Ethan Pierson
I believe everyone can write poetry and be a poet. Sometimes it takes more than just a simple thought and perhaps it may take hours to write something that has meaning. For others it might take a split second and a few minutes to be consumed by one’s thoughts and write a poem.
Watching him write was interesting and profound. I remember asking my current boyfriend if he could write a poem and again he said, “I can’t write poetry.” But unlike my friend, he didn’t even attempt to try. This is a major difference. This goes for poetry or swimming or major life challenges or changes. You can’t succeed in anything until you try and try and try until you come to the conclusion that what you did, what you’ve made, what skill you trudged through, made a difference and made you more successful.
There are forces within us that say “No, you can’t do it, you’ll never be good enough.” And sometimes those voices take ahold and power of our goals, our beliefs, our confidence, and shatters our way of life. For me, writing poetry has been just that. People saying I wasn’t good enough, publishers not accepting my work, students laughing at me because they don’t understand what I’ve written when presenting in class settings, and people being upset because I had written about them.
There are always people that will try and shut you down for whatever hobby or passion that you desire to have and achieve and work on and gain but the only person that matters in your life, for your career, for your passions and drives and desires is the voice inside of your own head. What are you saying to yourself? And what you say to yourself – matters. How you overcome situations that are difficult and challenging – matters. Do you write it out in a journal? Do you go to a local park and play basketball? Do you go on motorcycle rides for the adrenaline? Or do you punch walls? Do you do drugs? Do you conceal your feelings with alcohol? Do you follow your friends in everything they do? Do you listen to music? Do you have your own individuality and push through your issues and obstacles in a positive and healthy way? Or is it negative?
There are so many things that can get in the way of our passions and interests that could lead to our careers and our futures and most of those things are internal blockages. Feelings that cause us to have so much fear that doing anything else except for reaching our goals, something that will make us feel an ounce of happiness, even if it is short lived is better than trying to push away those negative thoughts.
For some people, suicide is the answer. For some people, living but not truly living is the answer. For me, I think I’m just so realistic and consumed with every emotion that exists in this world that my poetry sometimes scares me because my feelings, my thoughts, the things I wish to say but do not are revealed in my writing. And sometimes, going back to read them after years passed I feel a bit upset at myself for even feeling those things that I had felt. Granted, I wrote a lot when I was young like middle school – high school my poems were, you know, depressing. But, not to be that stereotypical highschooler who hates school and doesn’t want to do homework, I wasn’t like that. I was more afraid of things not changing for me. For the bullying to never end for the looks I got for being skinny to never stop for people who hurt my heart to continue hurting it later or hurting others or hurting themselves because even though I was hurt and pained and despised I always felt bad for the perpetrator because there had to have been a reason they acted the way they did.
But now, everytime someone hurts me I feel guilty because perhaps they’re just going through something I don’t know about and they don’t mean it. Which isn’t a bad thing to think but it isn’t healthy to assume especially when you’re constantly being bullied or hurt or used or whatever. We’ve all experienced some kind of bullying and if you haven’t, then you’re lying. Nobody is 100% kind in this world and because of that, I write. I write about the evils of this world, I write about the pain that I felt, the pain that I’m feeling, the stuff I wish to say but cannot because when you’re realistic and honest and truthful, sometimes people get upset.
Not everyone can handle someone who is realistic and honest.
Which is okay but perhaps they’re not ready to live an honest life. Perhaps they’re afraid, or unsure of what their purpose is. I am a big thinker when it comes to the world, my relationships, my friendships, my family, literally everything I have something to think about or say or write about. There is not one dull moment in my mind where I am not thinking about something. There are people that I have met who say, “I’m not always thinking about something. Sometimes my mind is just blank.” Those people scare me. How can you not think? Desire? Wish? Admire? Sometimes I’ll be in the passenger seat of a car and look out the window and think about the way the flowers are blooming or a sign that says something intriguing or being interested in the girls outfit walking down the sidewalk and thinking about how she might’ve come up with that outfit this morning.
There is never a dull moment in my mind. There are always thoughts.
Some of these thoughts and ideas and beliefs and pain and emotions are written as poems and never shared. Some of them are. Most of them usually are but as I grow older I wonder if my writing is worthy to be read. Should I share a poem knowing the person who it is about will get upset? Should I worry about their emotions over mine? Should I ignore my worries and share what is in my heart and my mind? These questions and more constantly rage in my head every time I think about posting a poem onto: http://cafeonmars.com/
which is another one of my blogs where I post my poems.
Yet I do it anyways. I post them. Because the thing I fear the most is fearing fear itself. I do not want to be afraid to try new things or challenge myself or share my work.
So if you’re not afraid of challenging yourself or achieving your goals, maybe you can do the same. Make a blog, write about your passions. Do the job you’ve always wanted to do and take the steps to get there. Whatever it is, do not be afraid.